Do bands look cool anymore? I don’t think they do. They are too concerned with other things, like looking like they aren’t trying to look cool, or actively trying not to look cool, swinging so far from cool that it would have been less affected and far less effort to just try to look cool. Maybe cool has changed.

The secret to the Guns N’ Roses looking cool is that Guns N’ Roses were cool. Or maybe they weren’t at all, but if you thought they were as a teenager, you never really shake it.

Check out this photo of the Guns N’ Roses, circa 1987. This is the inlay from the ‘Welcome To The Jungle’ single.

They look like a gang. Urchins living under the street.

Because it was L.A. in 1987, they have two very of-the-time looking blonde metal guys: Duff McKagan, whose pancreas would literally explode from alcohol-abuse seven years after this photo was taken, at age 30; who married a punk singer named Mandy Brix a year after this photo was taken; who became a financial wizard after scouring the Gunners’ books. (Okay, that last part isn’t too cool.)

Then there is Steven Adler, who was fired three years after this photo was taken, when he became more likely to slump off his drum stool high on heroin than to play a steady beat. His tribal drumming is a key part to Appetite For Destruction‘s success, and you really miss it on a number of Illusion songs. He is the most cock-rock looking of the five – with his bright red arm tat, his blonde afro/mullet combo, and his Californian tan. He is 1987 on the Sunset Strip.

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Okay, then we have Axl Rose, who shouldn’t be cool – a wiry red-head from Indiana with anger issues. He is cool because of his unhinged intensity, his caterwaul, his musician perfectionism (which led to the band’s eventual demise), the fact that he seems legitimately on a different mental plain: a blend of insanity and genius that makes working on an album for 15 years and routinely turning up for shows two hours late seem like sound choices. He would later wear bike shorts onstage, but at this point he was trademark cool: leathers, bandanas – and a shock of red hair.

Izzy Stradlin, down the front, is the guy who most belongs in the Rolling Stones, with that classic ’70s, Almost Famous, I got high with Gram Parsons vibe about him. In this photo he looks so bored, annoyed his gang has to be in a photo shoot. He writes country songs, which Axl sings sincerely and beautifully. He didn’t join in on the recent Gunners reunion, and has no plans to, because he knows he peaked during this very photo.

Then there is Slash. One name, like any icon. Huge top hat covering his face, amazing curls, slept-in leathers. This will be the last time Slash is ever photographed without a cigarette dangling from his lips. When I was 17, one of those guitarists that really enjoys guitar theory rather than actual music told me Slash was a terrible guitarist because his solos never strayed from the more obvious scales. That’s the type of argument that fundamentally misses the point. Slash is an incredible guitarist, technically, and intuitively. His mum dated David Bowie. He wears a top hat indoors and nobody says shit about it. He is shorthand for cool.

Other contenders

Hole circa 1997

hole

The Strokes circa 2001

the strokes

The Libertines circa 2002

The Rolling Stones circa 1969

rolling stones

Fleetwood Mac circa 1977

The Beatles circa 1966

the beatles

The Runaways circa 1977

the runaways

Death circa 1971

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