In a perfect display of both their absolute disdain for their fans and an unbridled willingness to slap their brand on anything, KISS have started selling officially licensed air guitar strings.

$3.99 will buy you a piece of cardboard and an empty plastic bag, which is of no use except to stop you from hyperventilating when you realise that you are the type of human that just paid $4 for an empty plastic bag.

Or perhaps you can use it to suffocate yourself, but not before making arrangements to be buried in the Kiss Kasket. If only your parents had just used Kiss-brand condoms…

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