Journalism, like rock n roll, is not in its golden age. Perhaps now that a lot of world leaders are turning out to be giant pieces of human garbage that have lots of dirty laundry just waiting to be aired by good writers, however, journalism stands to have a much brighter future than the irrelevant corpse of guitar-based music.

Nevertheless, music journalism is still doing it tough. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to see that your fluff piece about ‘The 13 Best Left Handed DJs in Northern South Australia of the 1990s’ has 10 times the amount of readers than the extensively-researched, well-constructed article you wrote about a new artist.

When real articles about music don’t get the attention they deserve, it can be of little surprise when our band Polish Club gets booked into an interview that was arranged as an afterthought, and given to some poor intern who has no idea about which random “developing” Aussie artist they’re speaking to.

To streamline the oh-so-familiar process, we’ve answered the questions we get asked every interview, and will undoubtedly get asked for every future interview. So now, as well as copy and pasting our press release, you can just copy and paste this interview itself if you like!

“How would you describe your sound…?”

Polish Club discuss life, music, and other mundane topics

So, why a two piece? Why don’t you have a bass guitar?

Why a three piece? Why a four piece? Why a solo act? You see where I’m going with this. There are no constraints when you’re starting a band. The only thing you need is to write good music (somehow, sometimes some get away without even doing that). So we figured out that we write good music together, and make enough noise as is.

We are such a pain in the arse, just the two of us, so adding another personality into the mix just to satiate the one bloke who reckons the root notes in each chord progression are lacking in a bit of “oomph” is an unnecessary exercise.

Also, it cost a fuck ton of money to tour any band, and by adding a third member, we’d be adding 50% to the cost of touring just so the aforementioned bloke can convince himself that, “Ooooh yeah, that random dude literally doing what Novak’s sub-octave pedal already does is really making all the difference.”

A caricature of Polish Club asking 'So, Um, yeah, why a two-piece?'

Er, why not?

Is it Polish, or Polish?

It’s Polish… You know, like the country.

So are you guys actually Polish?

My dad is. John’s parents are. No, we don’t really know shit about the country or its culture. Sorry.

How would you describe your sound?

I’d describe it as sounding like typing “Polish Club” into Spotify, and listening to one of our two-minute-long songs.

What are your main influences?

I will bet my house that you’ve said to yourself, “Gee, Polish Club sound a lot like _____”. Whatever band you said, you can probably count that as a legit influence.

An illustrated pie chart detailing Polish Club's influences

Let’s get scientific.

How do you get such a big sound as just a two piece?

PAs and speakers are a hell of a thing. Strength in numbers doesn’t equate to volume. There are six-piece bands out there that make about as much noise as a nervous teenager popping his cherry. You simply turn up the amps, mics, etc.

John hits hard. I sing loud. My amp, a Fender DeVille, is so fucking loud that I only ever really set it to 5 out of 11, max.

You guys look like you’re having so much fun onstage…

I never understand this question. Or rather, I’ll never understand why any band wouldn’t look like they’re having fun onstage. Even if you’re a super serious band, making super serious music, taking yourself way too seriously, it can’t be fun not letting your guard down once and smiling.

If playing live isn’t one of, if not the most fun part of being a musician, then what’s the point? It’s the bread and butter. It’s the most important part, and you don’t enjoy it, then don’t do it.

Uhhh, so who are you? What’s the name of… your band?

Yeah, we got that once in an interview for a uni media outlet. So in the interest of all future interviewers who got roped into interviewing an artist they don’t know, here are the links to our website, Facebook page and Instagram – as well as an amazing tip that will help out any aspiring journo.

The secret’s out.

So, what’s it like having an album out?

Choose one of the following:

  • Yeah it’s so great. We worked so hard on it and it was a long time coming, so I’m just relieved that we did it the way we wanted to, and I’m proud of the results.
  • Yeah it’s so great. It’s just nice to be able to give the fans a big chunk of music after all this time of just singles and an EP.
  • Yeah it’s so great. It feels like a real personal milestone that we’ve both always aspired to do one way or another but never got to.

How do you two know each other?

Friends of friends in high school. Or soon after high school.

Are you excited about the tour?

Yes. My pet peeve is artists who complain about touring. Yes, you have to travel a lot. Yes, it’s expensive. Yes, you get almost no rest. But anyone who complains about going to places you aren’t from and playing to people who love your music is in the wrong business. You don’t have to do it, so if you don’t like it, just don’t.

A food pyramid showing Polish Club's tour diet of cigarettes and free beer

Who wouldn’t be excited for all of this!?

And what’s on your playlist right now?

I mean, this obviously always changes, especially for John, but there are some constants:

  • Mariah Carey – MTV Unplugged
  • Blackstreet
  • The Eagles
  • Michael Jackson’s Dangerous
  • Any James Bond theme song

Thanks so much for talking to us, Daniel!

…pleasure.

In all seriousness, Polish Club will be taking their new EP Okie Dokie out on their Christmas in December tour this… December, supported by the awesome West Thebarton, Diet. and Stella Donnelly, so check out the dates below.

Polish Club ‘Christmas in December’ tour

Tickets on sale now

Fri 1 Dec – the zoo (18+), Brisbane

w/ West Thebarton & DIET.

Sat 2 Dec – The Metro Theatre (All Ages), Sydney

w/ West Thebarton & DIET.

Fri 8 Dec – The Croxton Bandroom (18+), Melbourne

w/ West Thebarton & DIET.

Fri 15 Dec – Adelaide UniBar (All Ages), Adelaide

w/ West Thebarton & DIET.

Sat 16 Dec – Rosemount Hotel (18+), Perth

w/ West Thebarton & Stella Donnelly