Sydney’s cocaine dealers are rubbing their hands together in glee with the news that TV/Film/Internet star and walking human meltdown Charlie Sheen has announced he’s coming to Australia. Sheen, who has had radio host Scott Dooley hanging out as a groupie in the States recently, has revealed that he likes his hanger on so much that he’s going to appear on his show on the commercial Nova network.

Sheen has been carousing around the States with his My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option live show, with people flocking to see the icon for all the wrong reasons continue his car crash life on stage. Never one to shy away from people losing their dignity, Dooley has secured the unhinged actor to spear on his show next month. Provided he passes the rubber glove cavity search at Sydney Airport, Sheen enthuses “We’ll do giveaways… we’ll film it also.”

In the announcement on Nova radio yesterday morning, he also explained they’d be rehashing scripts from his high rating but  buttock clenchingly unfunny ‘comedy’ show Two And A Half Men. “We’ll read some scripts and some scenes from Two and a Half Men and show everyone how it should have been done…. Sheen and Dools, epic as always.” No doubt an epic media pack will be following them around as they make frequent trips to the bathroom at Sydney’s more expensive drinking establishments.