We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files, however we don’t like regurgitating press releases or asking the easy questions. No-one gets out of the Tone Deaf Inquisition lightly, so just hold still, grit your teeth, clench your buttocks and be still while we put on the rubber gloves, apply the thumbscrews, and pull out our thermometer while you open up and say ahhhhhhhhhhh… Truthful answers only or we drink your rider while you’re on stage.

Everyone joins or forms a band to get laid. If your band represents your sex life are you Casanova or spending plenty of time doing the five knuckle shuffle?

Well if you put it that way, I’d say we are collectively feeling a bit like Chuck Bass (the lounge cat from Gossip Girl) on a Sunday afternoon with nothing better to do than rub one out for the hell of it, on your grandma’s vintage sofa.

We don’t want to know about the painfully hip bands your press release says you’re influenced by. Take us back to your bedroom when you were 14. What band posters did you have on the wall?

I haven’t really asked him, but apparently Jack had a A0 copy of Chad Kroeger’s ‘Hero’ single on his wall in ’02. Myself, A crumpled copy of limp Bizkit’s Significant Other album insert bluetac’d up, and a Jenny from the Block inspired J-lo centerfold on the wall i used to face as i nodded off.

What’s been your worst gig and why are you glad there’s no footage of it on Youtube … yet?

The Annandale in Sydney last year. Sound tech was a rather flustered female uni student who ran into menopause early after we explained our audio set up. Needless to say, not much worked. I’ll send you the clip for a Nippies iced choc right now?

Tomorrow’s payday, so we’ve only got $20 to get you drunk. Where do we go and what do we buy with it?

If you cant get sauced off 20 pots of Geelong Bitter at the Public Bar in North Melbourne,
…you’re pretty cool.

We’ve been looking in the $2 bin at Dixons Recycled and also bidding on eBay – what releases are we looking for there that your band has put out?

Michael (drummer) didn’t tell us about the Autotune remix album of Snoop Dogg’s ‘Doggystyle’ LP he did while the rest of us were on holiday. Thankfully it didn’t go viral and he only pressed 10 copys. Think Ratatat editing Miley’s ‘Party In The USA’ and processing the vocals in reverse. Add a Crookers bassline. Boom.

Suppose we put a gun to your head and force you to kiss a member of another Australian band. Who, which band and why?

Guy Sebastian seems to have really come to terms with his sexuality over the last few years. He looks like a gentle lover, despite all the tattoos. If he said no I would happily offer sloppy seconds to Vanessa Amerosi, she’s got some real attitude these days.