We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files, but we don’t like regurgitating press releases or asking the easy questions. At Tone Deaf we only ask the tough questions, so just hold still, grit your teeth, clench your buttocks and be still while we put on the rubber gloves, apply the thumbscrews, and pull out our thermometer while you open up and say ahhhhhhhhhhh… Truthful answers only or we drink your rider while you’re on stage. Tim Wheatley of Crooked Saint gave us the lowdown on his band’s approach in the lead up to their EP launch at Revolver in Melbourne on Friday night.

Who gets the most ‘off stage action’ in the band? What’s the secret to their success?

I’m going to have to say it’s our drummer Troy… Johnny, Badge & myself are mere men. The rehearsal room heats up like Downtown Bangkok whenever Troy hoists the roller door.

Have you ever been arrested? Where were you, and what was it for?

It’s a well known fact amongst those who know me that I would most likely rat out my own mother to avoid persecution…

What’s been the worst day job you’ve ever had?

My worst day job would have to be my foray into construction, because it lasted just that… one day. It seems some construction companies don’t take to kindly to twenty foot penises being jack hammered into driveways. But at least that only lasted one day… as I was also subjected to two years of unspeakable grief shovelling shit in my last band.

Sex, drugs and groupies – In what order do you prefer them and how often?

Seems as though the amount of sex, drugs and groupies associated with a band has long been the universal measuring stick for a band’s level of success, ranging from Short Stack to The Stones. Our measuring stick reads somewhere between Tal Bachman & The New Radicals. We’ll take anything, whenever!

Take us back to the first gig you went to. Where was it and what was the venue?

The first gig I can really remember was Paul McCartney at the MCG. I kicked, screamed, cried and eventually tuckered myself out and fell asleep on the cold seats. But next time I get the chance to see the great man will be very different… I’ll be sure to take a blanket.

What’s your favourite site to download music from and do you ever pay for it? Can we find any of your releases there?

I have a very strong stance against downloading as I was taught to support the industry that supports you! But until then… Just torrent that shit.

What’s the furthest you’d go to win over a new fan?

Tarwin Lower…. Four hours by car, two speeding tickets and a night riddled with debauchery in Gippsland with The Fauves that we are still waiting to be paid for. But it was all worth while, because the guy who came had a splendid time indeed, Badge claims to have heard him clap. By the way…. Gonna need those photos back Teddy.

Right, here’s the plug section – tell us about upcoming gigs/tours and releases.

Crooked Saint’s Every Angry Inch EP Launch is this Friday 18th of March @ Revolver. The EP will be available on iTunes!