We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files, but we don’t like regurgitating press releases or asking the easy questions. At Tone Deaf we only ask the tough questions, so just hold still, grit your teeth, clench your buttocks and be still while we put on the rubber gloves, apply the thumbscrews, and pull out our thermometer while you open up and say ahhhhhhhhhhh… Truthful answers only or we drink your rider while you’re on stage.

Who gets the most ‘off stage action’ in the band?  What’s the secret to their success?

Our former Drummer, Matt was voted the best looking in the band one night after a gig in a bathroom by a gaggle of intoxicated girls. Which is strange as he was always the sweatiest onstage and dressed not unlike Ace Ventura. I would therefore suggest that the open Hawaiian shirt with a white wife beater underneath combo was the secret to his success. Otherwise I think the truthful answer is our rhythm Guitarist, Doug. He has the whole “I don’t say much and therefore when I do speak, it’s something significant” thing down… really it’s because he doesn’t speak English (he does).  Imogen, our Keyboardist also gets a lot of attention because she is totally adorable but, she does have a band of five very protective boys around her, so no one gets to talk to her much.

Have you ever been arrested? Where were you, and what was it for?

Yep. I was arrested along time ago actually. You see, I was just starting to do well at my first big job (working as an accountant) when I caught my girlfriend at the time cheating on me… we fought, I left the house and got outrageously drunk. The funny thing is, she and her lover were actually brutally murdered the night I walked in on them, and I was convicted of the crime. I was sent to prison, It had a funny name, like strawtank or floorspank, or something like that. I was harassed frequently, but I just kept my head down. Made some good friends, built a library, made a chess board out of rocks, taught a boy to read… I eventually escaped though.. the warden did not know what hit him.

In all seriousness, I stole some spray cans once from K-mart… but the police weren’t involved. I just couldn’t go back to K-mart.

What’s been the worst day job you’ve ever had?

I used to put up posters for a small poster making company. Not the kind that you see on telephone polls but in cafes and stuff. It wasn’t a bad job… just had to put up posters of other bands for over a year.. and they usually were pretty rubbish. One day I just had to put up Barry Manilow concert posters all over Sydney… I wanted to vomit up my own liver.

Sex, drugs and groupies – In what order do you prefer them and how often?

If I am going to be honest, I smoke a lot of sex and chat up a lot of drugs… but I will not have groupies before marriage.. Am I saying it right?

Take us back to the first gig you went to. Where was it and what was the venue?

I have no idea where it was, but my first gig was a Gypsy Kings concert. I don’t remember much, what I do remember is Bamboleo was off the F’ing chain.

What’s your favourite site to download music from and do you ever pay for it? Can we find any of your releases there?

I like this site Beemp3. I only download pop songs that for some reason I need to hear. I like the site because it makes no effort to hide its dodgyness. Most of the mp3s that I have downloaded are not even the real versions of the song. More than one song I have downloaded is interrupted half way through by random Spanish voice overs. Usually if I want to download music I will torrent it, actually I found a few Guineafowl Torrents a few months ago… there seem to be bundles of my demos.. this is a very big deal for me.

What’s the furthest you’d go to win over a new fan?

Play at their 21st Birthday. Been there and done that. And now that person is a very dedicated fan, and the little sister of my rhythm guitarist.

Right, here’s the plug section –  tell us about upcoming gigs/tours and releases.

We are just about to release our Debut EP , “Hello Anxiety” and do a small major city tour to promote it. Dates will be released for it shortly, but we start in Sydney on the 18th at the Oxford Arts Factory . We are proud of this first offering, it contains five tracks with some mastered and mix demos and fully recorded new songs. In the meantime we play @ DING DONG on 15th January with some of Melbourne most awesome bands!