We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files, but we don’t like regurgitating press releases or asking the easy questions. At Tone Deaf we only ask the tough questions, so just hold still, grit your teeth, clench your buttocks and be still while we put on the rubber gloves, apply the thumbscrews, and pull out our thermometer while you open up and say ahhhhhhhhhhh… Truthful answers only or we drink your rider while you’re on stage.

Who gets the most ‘off stage action’ in the band?  What’s the secret to their success?

Callum has an extensive Bruce Willis DVD collection dating right back to the mid eighties, so I’d say out of all of us, he probably gets the most action. He’s a keen eBay shopper and is open to anyone’s suggestions on where to find quality bootleg Bruce, right Cal?

(background – “I hate you Larkin!”)

Have you ever been arrested? Where were you, and what was it for?

I’ve been arrested by the Denim Police for crimes against fashion. I had Lee jeans on, a Wrangler denim shirt, and a really bad 80s Levis sawn off denim jacked I’d made into a vest with the fleecy inners. I know, I’m not proud of it and I deserved to get caught. I was going through a really difficult existential crisis at the time trying different things that weren’t considered cool by the inner city Melbourne clique. I wanted to out-cool them but I failed dismally.

What’s been the worst day job you’ve ever had?

I did apple picking once, but this fascist fruit Nazi keeps peering around the orchards to see if I was slacking off and eating the stock, which I was. It was stinking hot, and the pay was shit, so it really did become a “day job” when I told him where to shove his apples after work.

Sex, drugs and groupies – In what order do you prefer them and how often?

Well what you do is put the sex and drugs on the boat, and take them to the island first so the groupies don’t get high on the supply while you’re away. Leaving sex on the island, you come back with the drugs, put on a little Blue Oyster Cult and marvel at the cosmic ballet of the midnight sky while mushie number two kicks in. Once you arrive back at the shore to pick up the groupies, who by then are all so pissed off with you that you are off your face and can’t drive the boat anymore, you find they have decided to all go and hang out with the younger and much better looking Short Stack. You pat yourself on the back, put Blue Oyster Cult back on and suddenly the astral rhythms of the universe find their lazy groove again.  Aaaaah.

Take us back to the first gig you went to. Where was it and what was the venue?

Christ…I think it was a really bad cover band at the Flinders pub in 1985. It was New Years Eve and I remember them doing Jesse’s Girl to about 3 drunk women on the dance floor. That’s when I knew I wanted to play in a band.

What’s your favourite site to download music from and do you ever pay for it? Can we find any of your releases there?

I’m a bit of a vinyl fanatic, so I don’t buy much online. If I do it’s iTunes.

What’s the furthest you’d go to win over a new fan?

I probably wouldn’t go any further than Mt. Waverly. Gets costly in tolls and petrol.

Right, here’s the plug section – tell us about upcoming gigs/tours and releases.

We just got announced as the main support for The Hold Steady tour in March 2011. Before then we are doing our Vic album launches this week at:

The National Hotel (Geelong) –  Thu.Dec.2 with Money For Rope

The Karova Lounge (Ballarat) – Fri.Dec.3 with Money For Rope

Northcote Social Club – Sat.Dec.4 with The Demon Parade and The Bonniwells

More national tour dates to be announced soon…

New album “Adult Loose” is out now EVERYWHERE and is a must for the Summer!