We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files, however we don’t like regurgitating press releases or asking the easy questions. No-one gets out of the Tone Deaf Interrogation lightly, so just hold still, grit your teeth, clench your buttocks and be still while we put on the rubber gloves, apply the thumbscrews, and pull out our thermometer while you open up and say ahhhhhhhhhhh… Truthful answers only or we drink your rider while you’re on stage.

Everyone joins or forms a band to get laid. If your band represents your sex life are you Casanova or spending plenty of time doing the five knuckle shuffle?

Haha. Well there’s this new thing called ‘cranking’ that half of the band have been doing which is essentially “crying and wanking at the same time”. Suitable for breakups. While strangely our sluttiest representative(s) have ‘laid’ quite low during these last few recording and planning months.

We don’t want to know about the painfully hip bands your press release says you’re influenced by. Take us back to your bedroom when you were 14. What band posters did you have on the wall?

We have each not matured a great deal so we’re fully still there now and as a result our heroes haven’t changed: Radiohead, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Queen – there’s also been the long-standing heroism of System of a Down, Tool, Faith No More. I keep on the quiet that I loved Guns n’ Roses and Pantera.

What has disappeared is my teenage affection for black metal, our bass player Mikey’s funk/reggae fellating, and our drummer and singer’s Brit-rock obsession for Blur, Doves, and all that. Previous to brit-rock, Luke (singer) was into Formula 1 but reckons he ripped the posters down when he worked out that you basically need to a millionaire to be a Formula 1 driver.

What’s been your worst gig and why are you glad there’s no footage of it on YouTube… yet?

For the band there’s been a few. There is one in particular that has been erased from the band’s memory (in Bendigo). Also, we now call the Gold Coast ‘Cold Ghost’ and don’t play there anymore. There is also a Canberra show comes to mind – Luke (singer) thought it would be a good idea to convince Spike (drummer) to put a towbar on his car and hire a trailer to put all our gear in it. I was driving and noticed the car was severely overheating 400km out of Melbourne.

After a stop, we continued at only 80km/hr and discovered that the venue didn’t know the gig was on, so it hadn’t been promoted it at all within Canberra. We turned up in Spike’s almost broken car and then we and four other bands played to each other plus three people.

We spent the next day trying to get home slow enough to avoid overheating Spike’s car while still arriving in time for our 10pm Revolver set in Melbourne. It’s hard not to stress when you need to get moving but can’t.

Personally I don’t mind playing to no one like a king in the midst of transportation freakouts. My personal worst gig was the last in a run of 4 Sydney shows in 4 nights where the first 3 went super well, but our 4th show we dropped the ball and played like shit due to just partying too hard and assuming that everything will just be awesome. It was probably the most important show of the tour and it reminded me not to take anything for granted.

Tomorrow’s payday, so we’ve only got $20 to get you drunk. Where do we go and what do we buy with it?

Half a carton of beer and a park would do it, but that’s my inner bogan speaking. I’m not hip with boysenberry cider or whatever we are drinking these days, so let’s get two bottles of red.

We’ve been looking in the $2 bin at Dixons Recycled and also bidding on eBay – what releases are we looking for there that your band has put out?

We’ve had a couple of singles done and have spread them around with our own hands so you might find those in the Dixons bin if anyone was too shy to reject us to our faces. We’re killer excited to be releasing our first EP in October and we’ll be whoring that around so who knows where they’ll end up. A couple of songs have already been completed – the upcoming show at East Brunswick Club is a single launch to help get the first one out there. And if you’re still reading, you can visit meband.com if you’d like a free mp3 of the song.

Suppose we put a gun to your head and force you to kiss a member of another Australian band. Who, which band and why?

I’d rather you pull the trigger than answer truthfully. Although I am happy to say that I want to do glorious things to the Chaingang singer. I’m gonna go and have a crank now…

[Me] launch their new single ‘Your Favourite Colour’ at the East Brunswick Club this Saturday 7th August, with Fearless Vampire Killers, The Spheres, Ether, a live 10-piece brass section, and many special guests.