We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files, however we don’t like regurgitating press releases or asking the easy questions. No-one gets out of the Tone Deaf Interrogation lightly, so just hold still, grit your teeth, clench your buttocks and be still while we put on the rubber gloves, apply the thumbscrews, and pull out our thermometer while you open up and say ahhhhhhhhhhh… Truthful answers only or we drink your rider while you’re on stage.

Everyone joins or forms a band to get laid. If your band represents your sex life are you Casanova or spending plenty of time doing the five knuckle shuffle?

Firstly, all members of Peabody resent the notion that we joined a band to get laid. We joined a band to form meaningful and lasting relationships with male and female members of the music-loving fraternity.

As to what kind of sex life the band represents, I’m not quite sure…but Jared (drummer) gets around Clovelly in a full-body condom…and it’s not his swimming costume.

We don’t want to know about the painfully hip bands your press release says you’re influenced by. Take us back to your bedroom when you were 14. What band posters did you have on the wall?

Good lord, this is like therapy. Or more likely it’s you who’ll need therapy when I tell you I had a plethora of Bon Jovi, Transvision Vamp, INXS, Guns n’ Roses paraphernalia on my wall. I suppose it could have been worse. Bros and New Kids on the Block spring to mind (Ben, I’m looking at you here).

What’s been your worst gig and why are you glad there’s no footage of it on Youtube … yet?

We supported the Electric Six a few years ago at the Gaelic Club. We had a pretty awful night on stage in terms of our performance, but to make it worse, someone threw a G-string at us, which I decided to wear over my jeans. That is reason enough to not want footage of this event to be made available. However, there is more. I had borrowed our label manager’s guitar as a back-up. It’s the exact same Rickenbacker model as mine, so I didn’t realise I’d picked his up by mistake at the start of the set. Thinking I was slinging my axe and not his, I decided to jump on the drum kit to kill this awful gig once and for all. It was only after we came off stage that I’d realised I’d done so with his guitar, not mine. He asked me after the gig “that was your guitar you jumped on the kit with, wasn’t it?” I looked straight into his honest, doughy eyes and said, “of course, Nick”.

Tomorrow’s payday, so we’ve only got $20 to get you drunk. Where do we go and what do we buy with it?

We go to the nearest bottle shop and get 3 casks of Lambrusco, which we then take down to the golf course where I have a bong made out of an Orchy bottle hidden behind the bunker on the 8th hole. You can keep the $2 change.

We’ve been looking in the $2 bin at Dixons Recycled and also bidding on eBay – what releases are we looking for there that your band has put out?

Oh goody! Bargain hunting! You’ll probably find our previous 3 albums there. Prospero is the most likely as it was vilified, defiled and defamed in the press and on the street. People are scared of genius because they don’t understand it, so they attack it.

Suppose we put a gun to your head and force you to kiss a member of another Australian band. Who, which band and why?
Look, if I hear another word about the time I tried to kiss Tim Rogers, I’ll scream. Apart from that embarrassing little episode, I guess I could be forced to kiss Adalita from Magic Dirt or that girl who sings in The City Lights.